Britains Got Talent

There's a bunch of strange "singers" appearing on the X Factor lately. There must a lot of tone deaf relatives and friends around encouraging no-hopers to go forward. I tend to agree with Cowell every time. The girl judges are just window dressing, although Dannii Minogue has shown some signs of brains, too. Walsh has absolutely no idea, and comes across as insincere. Whereas in Britain's Got Talent, it's Piers Morgan that constantly cheeses me off with his "every one deserves a chance" attitude.
Like, the time in Britain's Got Talent when this no-hoper appeared on stage with a black bag.
"Ok, what's your act?" asks Simon Cowell.
"It's in the bag", says the man.
"Right, Ok, off you go" replies Cowell.
Man dips his hand in the bag, and places a walnut on his head.
Cowell doesn't look too impressed. He presses his "X".
Pierce Morgan looks VERY impressed, and beams enthusiastically.
Man dips his hand in the bag and fetches out a hammer. He uses the hammer to smash the walnut balanced on his head. Then curtsies theatrically to the audience.
Cowell rolls his eyes to view the ceiling, and shakes his head.
Piers Morgan visibly laughs out loud.
Morgan is the first to speak, "That was a very brave thing to do. Not many people would want to make a living out of doing that. You certainly get my vote."
Cowell is astounded by these comments, and looks contemptuously at Morgan. He asks the man, "What else have you got in your black bag?"
"Aspirin" replies the man.